It's funny how God works. I've been thinking a lot this week about my times spent in His word, quiet time in study and prayer with my Creator. And how many mornings it's such a struggle to make this time a priority. Several mornings ago, while Anlon was napping, I sat down on the couch with my Bible, ready to give God my complete focus. It was quiet, I was alone and there was nothing stopping me. And then a thought came to me, reminding me that I should really get in touch with a couple of friends that I used to work with. And then I looked around our living room and thought of all of the housework that really needed to be done. And then my phone rang, and I answered it. And after chatting with a friend for a few minutes, I saw a catalog on our table that I thought I'd like to look through when I get a chance. And then I thought about how my mind wanders so many times right when I'm about to spend time with the Lord, and how I should blog about this. And then I FINALLY was able to stop the mental chatter and spend a few precious minutes soaking in God's truth from Isaiah before Anlon woke up crying.
I know from the Bible that God does not love me more or less based on what I do, or don't do. He doesn't love me any more if I read His word every morning, if I pray consistently, or if my knowledge and understanding of His character grows. I do want to read His word every day and understand Him more and more, but I know that while this pleases Him, it does not cause Him to love me more than He already does on my worst day. To quote one of my dearest friends Amber, God's love "does not lessen when I make a bad choice. It does not improve when I volunteer more of my time. It does not lessen when I lose my temper. It does not improve when I pray more. It does not lessen when I say the wrong thing. It does not improve when I use my time wisely. It does not lessen when I neglect Him. It does not improve when I spend hours with Him. It does not lessen when I am lazy. It does not improve when I lead others. It does not lessen when I complain. It does not improve when I write about Him. "
And yet I think many times I don't really believe this. I know that although very imperfectly, I love God with everything that I am. But I'm realizing that I don't really know, in my soul, that His love for me is unconditional. Steadfast. Imperishable. Unchanging. Perfect. If I could ever earn or deserve God's unfailing love, His love wouldn't be any different that my flawed human love. Jesus, please help me to know this deep in the recesses of my heart. Please help me to stop putting human attributes on your love and just rest in the grace that You have given me. Thank you that I'm already enough for You.
"For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord."
Psalm 117:2
I know from the Bible that God does not love me more or less based on what I do, or don't do. He doesn't love me any more if I read His word every morning, if I pray consistently, or if my knowledge and understanding of His character grows. I do want to read His word every day and understand Him more and more, but I know that while this pleases Him, it does not cause Him to love me more than He already does on my worst day. To quote one of my dearest friends Amber, God's love "does not lessen when I make a bad choice. It does not improve when I volunteer more of my time. It does not lessen when I lose my temper. It does not improve when I pray more. It does not lessen when I say the wrong thing. It does not improve when I use my time wisely. It does not lessen when I neglect Him. It does not improve when I spend hours with Him. It does not lessen when I am lazy. It does not improve when I lead others. It does not lessen when I complain. It does not improve when I write about Him. "
And yet I think many times I don't really believe this. I know that although very imperfectly, I love God with everything that I am. But I'm realizing that I don't really know, in my soul, that His love for me is unconditional. Steadfast. Imperishable. Unchanging. Perfect. If I could ever earn or deserve God's unfailing love, His love wouldn't be any different that my flawed human love. Jesus, please help me to know this deep in the recesses of my heart. Please help me to stop putting human attributes on your love and just rest in the grace that You have given me. Thank you that I'm already enough for You.
"For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord."
Psalm 117:2
2 comments:
I am so glad you posted today. Although, I talk to you on a regular basis, there something about reading written words. It is a deeper glimpse into your heart.
These words are so true:
"If I could ever earn or deserve God's unfailing love, His love wouldn't be any different that my flawed human love. Jesus, please help me to know this deep in the recesses of my heart. Please help me to stop putting human attributes on your love and just rest in the grace that You have given me. Thank you that I'm already enough for You."
Jesus, please help me too!
Really enjoyed reading your post today. Growing up I was taught to believe that God's love or approval comes from doing good deeds. It's been a process to be able to really accept God's unconditional love and grace- and I'm still in that proces :)
Thanks for sharing your heart and look forward to reading more this year!
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